How to Piss off Every Character in Kingdom Hearts (Re-Make)
by Ms Cupcake
Summary: She wasn't supposed to be there but she is, for one purpose and one purpose only...Annoy every Kingdom hearts character! Warning: Mild Language and mild violence.
1. Information

Hey guys :)

Ms Cupcake here or should I say Stumblealot, I apologise for not continuing with my story and I know how much you guys loved it. A lot of things just got in the way such as family and school work, it was hard to keep up so I kind of just abandoned the story :/ But now that my life is in order and my school work is in check I decided to re-write 'How to Piss off Every Character in KH :)

To give you guys the heads up of what's to come in the remake of 'How to Piss off Every Character in KH'. Well it won't be a list story since well FanFiction banned that right :/ but instead a story, since I have so many ideas the stories might be pretty long...

Here is a list of people who I will be annoying: Ventus, Aqua, Terra, Master Xehanort, Vanitas, Master Equarus, Sora, Riku, Kairi, Mickey Mouse, Donald, Goofy, Ansem the Heartless, Namine, Roxas, Xion, Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Axel, Saix, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, and Larxene.

Also if I have time I might also do: Repliku, Ansem the Wise, Maleficent, Pete, Yen Sid, Heartless, Nobodies and the Unverse. All these stories will be done in order of the Kingdom Hearts Timeline so I will be starting with Ventus first.

Unfortunately Axel, Roxas and Xigbar can't join me in introducing each story like they used too. They are too busy with the making of Kingdom Hearts 3 :D But maybe if we're lucky we can get them in maybe one or two stories.

I will update sometime this week with the first chapter.

See ya soon guys,

MsCupcake


	2. Ventus

**AN: Sorry for the long wait, but here is the first chapter! I hope you will all enjoy :D**

Ventus was training early this morning alone in the Land of Departure, which was quite unusual since Ventus is usually the last person up in the morning. After a training lesson with Master Eraqus he said that Ventus was getting a bit slack with his attacks, Ventus wanting to be a Keyblade Master is training hard to show his mentor what he is truly capable of. It wasn't until something caught his eye, a young girl who looks about his age hiding behind one of the pillars. Ventus lowered his keyblad and walked carefully towards the girl, trying not to scare her.

"Hey!" He said in his usual cheerful tone "I haven't seen you around here before, what is your name?" The girl slowly walked towards him in a shy manner, she seems harmless enough Ventus had thought to himself. The girl was now uncomfortably close to him, her face right was up against his face her eyes peering into his, it was quite awkward...

"Why does your hair defy the laws of gravity?" She asked.

"I beg your pardon?" Ventus replied. The girl backed away from Ventus and pulled on one of his strands of hair.

"No seriously! Back on my home world hair like this should not be capable of withstanding gravities force!" She spoke fast and pulled on Ventus's hair harder, examining every strand.

"Hey, hey, hey! Cut that out that hurts!" Ventus shouted as he was able to get out of the girl's grasp "Just who are you?"

"Me?" She said stunned for a minute before replying "I'm Juniper! And you are Ventus!" Ventus looked at the Juniper confused and asked.

"Um...how do you know my name?" Juniper again went right up to Ventus's face and said in a whisper.

"I watch you at night"

"Well that's comforting..." Ventus sighed in annoyance "What are you doing here?"

"I would tell you but not only would you not believe me I would have to kill you" She smiled creepily. Ventus just stared at her in disbelief, just who was this girl? Suddenly Ventus felt that his Keyblade wasn't there in his hand, frantically he looked around and saw that Juniper had it in her hands.

"What is this?" She asked, waving it in the air.

"Hey give that back!" Ventus growled as he tried to regain his Keyblade but to no avail.

"Oh, I know it's a back scratcher!" Juniper said as she began to scratch her back with his Keyblade, Ventus now aggravated tried again to gain his Keyblade again, but no matter how fast he moved Juniper was even quicker.

"No it isn't! It's a very powerful blade that someone like you wouldn't understand!" Ventus snapped. She stopped to examine it before looking at him with a very big grin.

"You want it?" She asked, stroking her finger up the Keyblade "Then fetch!" She threw the blade up into the air, Ventus quickly ran waving his hands up in the air trying to catch the Keyblade.

BANG!

His Keyblade landed right in his face making Ventus fall back onto the ground in pain, Ventus groaned as his vision started to adjust. He saw a figure standing above him, it was Juniper.

"Hey sorry about that" She grinned, holding out her hand "Here I'll help you up" Reluctantly Ventus grabbed hold of her hand as she pulled him up only to let go and let him slam back onto the ground.

"Ouch!" Ventus cried out, rubbing his head.

"Oops! Butter fingers!" She giggled "Ok for serious, here I'll help you" Ventus glared at her before again grabbing her hand and letting her pull him up, only to be let go and fall to the ground again.

"Ohhh, that looked like it hurt, sorry" She laughed.

"You know what? I'll just get up myself!" Ventus growled at her, before slowly getting up and wiping the dust from his pants.

"Ok, ok I'm sorry" Juniper apologised "I know we haven't had the best introduction, but I'm sorry about it ok. How about we shake on it?" She held out her hand again.

"So you can just push me down again? No way" Ventus shook his head and crossed his arms.

"Please? I promise I will be good" Juniper looked at Ventus with giant puppy dog like eyes, Ventus looked at her for a second before sighing the puppy dog eyes really got to him.

"Ok" He smiled and reached for her hand "And please could you stop being-AAHHHHHHHHHhhhh!" as Ventus shook her hand lightning shot through his body causing a huge amount of pain. Juniper let go only to laugh, Ventus's hair was completely tangled and out of place and he was covered completely in ash.

"Oh my god!" She cackled "You should have seen your face, it was priceless!" Ventus now in a fit of rage grabbed Juniper by the collar of her shit and held her up, he would never commit himself to his type of violence but at this point he could care less.

"You are going to pay for that-"

"Ventus? What on Earth are you doing?" Said a loud yet low voice, Ventus turned his head to see Master Eraqus crossing his arms and looking at Ventus in disapproval. Beside him was Aqua and Terra who just like Master Eraqus looked at Ventus is disbelief and disappointment.

"It-it isn't what it looks like!" Ventus said in panic as he dropped Juniper immediately.

"What it seems to look like is you harassing this poor girl" Master Eraqus explained.

"No it isn't she-she started it first!" Ventus pointed towards Juniper who just looked at him with a big triumphing grin.

"Ventus don't lie! You're better than this" Aqua said in a kind voice.

"I'm not lying she, she-"

"Enough! It doesn't matter who started what you should never try to harm an innocent especially when they are not even armed!" Master Eraqus snapped "I am very disappointed in you Ventus!"

"But I-"Ventus stopped there, knowing that they wouldn't listen to him.

"Now then young one, what is your name?" Master Eraqus asked.

"Juniper, nice to meet you" She smiled sweetly her hands behind her back, acting as if she didn't do a thing.

"Well then Juniper, what are you doing here?" Terra asked raising his eyebrow in suspicion.

"I don't remember really... first I was sleeping in bed and next thing you know I was here in this strange place and when I asked him for help he just got angry and tried to harass me!" Juniper explained.

"Excuse me! But you were the one harassing me!" Ventus shouted in defence.

"Silence Ventus!" Master Eraqus snapped, before turning back to Juniper "Continue"

"Well that's about it...I don't know where I am or how I can get home..." Juniper sighed sadly, Ventus just glared at her knowing what her true intentions are.

"Well then, we will help you get home safely for the meantime you can stay here with us in the castle" Master Eraqus explained. "Unfortunately we will not have enough time to show you around today as Terra and Aqua will be training for their Mark of master Exam. But tomorrow Aqua will show you around the castle and Terra can help you try and find your home world"

"Thank you so much, really you don't have to do this" Juniper said kindly.

"It is no trouble at all" Aqua smiled.

"Guys we really should have her here, she is trouble!" Ventus said angrily.

"Very well then Ventus since you have shown such kindness and hospitality to our guest, you won't mind sharing your room with Juniper" Master Eraqus said sarcastically.

"What? N-No, no way in Kingdom Hearts will I let her take one step in my room!" Ventus yelled.

"Ventus as your mentor you will allow Juniper to sleep in your room, that is an order!" Master Eraqus yelled back at Ventus. Ventus just stood there in defeat, his head looking down to the ground.

"Looks like were rommies huh?" Juniper grinned at Ventus. Ventus just looked back at her in anger as she just stared at him with her Cheshire grin.

"Now then if you follow Aqua she will show you to Ventus room" Master Eraqus instructed.

"Thank you" Juniper said before following Aqua, she quickly turned her head to give Ventus a devious smile before continuing to follow Aqua. Terra slowly approached Ventus and softly place a hand on his shoulder.

"Are you alright Ven?" Terra asked with concern, Ventus just shrugged away Terra's hand before storming off, how dare she? How dare she just come here and treat him with such disrespect only to have his friends and mentor side against him! There was no way Juniper was going to get away with this; he was going to show everybody who she really is, an annoying brat!

**AN: I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, poor Ventus! Juniper really just pushed him over the edge huh? Anyway Aqua is next to face her wrath, MUAH HA HA HA! **


	3. Aqua

Aqua woke up feeling a bit on edge, something didn't feel right today. She went on with her usual morning routine before heading to Ventus's chambers to get Juniper. When finally at Ventus's door she knocked softly on the door only to wait 10 minutes with no response, concerned Aqua knocked again. No response.

"Ventus, Juniper! Are you there?" Aqua called out but nothing.

"They must be already up for breakfast, I know how much Ventus loves his food" Aqua thought as a smile crept to her face. Before walking off the door flung open along with Ventus who flew through the air and landed head first to the ground. In an act of panic Aqua raced over to Ventus.

"Ventus are you alright?" Aqua asked.

"Mmmphhhhhttttt..." Ventus muffled his face glued to the ground.

"Wha?-" Aqua stuttered.

"She throooww me-throoooww mehhhh" Ventus replied again his muffles; Aqua only understood half of what he said.

"I don't understand who threw you?" Aqua asked. Ventus looked up at her, he looked tired with the black around his eyes and saggy face.

"Junnnpenerne-"

"Morning everyone!" Said the bright and bubbly Juniper as she walked out of Ventus's room, interrupting his speech. She walked over to Ventus who still lay on the ground now staring at her with daggers in his eyes.

"Oh man what happened to you?" Juniper asked.

"You-threeewww mehhhgsg" He mumbled.

"Listen Juniper I need to get Ventus to Master Eraqus, he gravely injured!" Aqua explained.

"Ppphhhttt- no he's not! He just has a little bruise, nothing to worry about!" Juniper smiled grabbing Ventus by his collar and making him stand to his feet "See!"

"I still think we should take him-"Aqua was interrupted by Juniper quickly pulling her away from Ventus and walking off.

"He's fine! Come on you promised me you would show me around!" Juniper said in her kind voice, though the words seemed to be forced. Aqua turned back to see Ventus waving goodbye, he seemed to be fine.

"al-alright then" Aqua said, the feeling of worry and doubt still lingering in her mind "Let me lead" In the far distance Ventus waved his arms frantically to try and stop Aqua from following Juniper, he felt is ankles give as he started to fall down the long stone stairs. Over at the mountain path Aqua escorted Juniper around.

"What's this?" Juniper asked.

"That is a rock Juniper" Aqua replied with a slight annoyed tone in her voice.

"And that?" She asked again.

"Another rock!" Aqua replied with the same tone.

"Oh watch out, enemies from above!" Juniper cried out pointing in the air. Aqua quickly summoned her Keyblade ready to fight, yet she saw no one.

"Juniper are you sure there is-"

DUNK!

Aqua suddenly became blind as something had been thrown over her head. Aqua frantically tried to take whatever was covering her face but it seemed to be glued to her hair. Aqua walked staggered around like a drunken goon, bumping into every object that went near her.

"Juniper? Help me please" Aqua called out still trying to get the object off of her head.

"Ok, ok, just hold still" Juniper said with almost a giggle in her voice. Aqua felt Juniper starting to rip off the thing on her head; it pulled on her hair cause extreme pain to her body.

RIIIPPPPPP

Aqua was finally free from darkness as the object flew off. Aqua stumbled a bit before finally regaining her balance, her vision finally cleared.

"You ok?" Juniper asked kindly.

"Wh-what in Kingdom Hearts happen?" Aqua stuttered.

"A bucket just came flying out of nowhere and landed on your head! It was freaky!" Juniper explained as she picked up the bucket that caused all this chaos. Aqua took the bucket from Juniper and looked inside as her heart stopped large chunks of her blue sapphire hair stuck to a white gluey substance. Aqua dropped the bucket in shock as she ran her hands through her now bald head, feeling some left over chunks still on her scalp.

"M-my...my hair!" Aqua cried, almost in tears "Ju-Juniper did you do-" Before Aqua could speak she stopped to see Juniper, body lead over the edge of the ground, a few more inches and she would be falling to her death.

"Juniper!" Aqua shouted in fear as she ran towards her "Don't go too far near the edge!" Before Aqua could grab Juniper she moved leaving Aqua falling off the edge. She hit one rock after another on her way down the mountain; each hit brought more amount of pain to her body. Finally as Aqua reached the bottom, her body writhing in pain she looked up to see Juniper still at the top.

"You ok?" She asked, waving down. Aqua tried to speak but was in too much pain.

"Eh, I'm sure your fine" Juniper smiled walking off, but stopped to quickly throw something "Incase you get lonely here are some lovely, sweet, scorpions to keep you company!" Aqua soon felt the stinging pinches of a few hundred – no thousand of scorpions covering her whole body.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Aqua let out a blood clenching screech. The last thing Aqua saw or heard was Juniper walking away saying:

"No need to thank me!"

A few hours later Terra and Master Eraqus found Aqua and immediately took her to the medic room, using whatever healing techniques to help her injuries.

"I don't understand how someone like Aqua could be subjective to these sort of injuries" Terra questioned with a look of concern on his face.

"I know, from what Juniper had told me something made of darkness attacked them" Master Eraqus explained looking over at Aqua who was lying down in a bed covered in bandages "Aqua did what she could to protect Juniper but suffered in the process"

"What could have attacked them?" Terra asked.

"I don't know but there are some dark forces at work here" Master Eraqus said with what could appear to be fear in his eyes. Suddenly there was a knock at the door; Juniper was quietly peaking through the left open crack in the door.

"Come in" Master Eraqus ordered sternly. Juniper opened the door and crept in; she had a lovely bouquet of flowers in her hands.

"This is for Aqua" Juniper said softly almost in a whisper, tears swelling from her eyes.

"Hey" Terra smiled "She's going to be ok" he said trying to uplift her spirits. Juniper looked up at Terra and smiled.

"Can I please have a moment alone with Aqua?" she asked.

"Of course" Master Erquas said "Terra come with me, we have some planning to do" Terra nodded and followed Master Erqaus out, closing the door. Juniper's sad frown turned into a menacing grin, she approached Aqua like a tiger stalking its prey.

"Hey wake up sleepy head" juniper mimicked like a child. Aqua slowly opened her eyes only to be horrified to see Juniper standing over her.

"I heard you were feeling better? That's no good, we might have to change that" Juniper snickered as she pulled out a fist full of worms and earwigs. Aqua shook in fear and unable to move, she wanted to scream, shout do anything to get this psycho away from her...but she was helpless...

"Don't worry-" Juniper grinned "-Were going to have lots of fun"

**A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long guys! Poor Aqua stuck in hospital unable to move and under the wrath of Juniper, will she survive? Probably not, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and if you have any ideas that would be much appreciated **


End file.
